Long Time, No See, Grandfather William
by GirlGoneGamer
Summary: One-Shot. It was just a normal day at the De Santa house, until an old relative from Blake's side of the family returns after fourteen years.


**Hello, GirlGoneGamer here, and I've brought a humor Fanfic from my Grand Theft Auto V stories! And I also brought in xXBalorBabeXx's character, Carly Jade into it, which I do not own. This fanfic is about this new OC which is Macey's rich and snobbish father. I might make more of this, if you like it!**

 **I do not own Grand Theft Auto V! Rockstar Games owns it! Blake, Ginger, William Rose, MJ (Michael Junior), Carter, Norah and Charlie Missildine is what I own.**

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Long Time, No See, Grandfather William

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It was a normal sunny day at the De Santa house and everyone was mostly in the living room area or the kitchen area of the house.

Blake was fixing Ginger's hair into a french braid while Carly was on her laptop, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughan through her violet colored earbuds. Tracey was watching Fame or Shame on the big projector screen TV, when Ginger was supposed to be watching a rerun episode of Princess Robot Bubblegum. Michael was in the kitchen, getting himself a glass of whiskey after coming from work at Richards Majestics after helping MJ make his afternoon snack which is a peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich. Jimmy was updating his LifeInvader profile while he was supposed to be putting up a resume for a job. And Amanda on the other hand, was drunk again as usual while laying down on the white expensive couch.

"On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese. I lost my poor meatball-" Amanda sanged while having her half empty glass of red wine in one hand.

"You're such a bad singer." Blake stated as she cut off Amanda.

"Excuse me, young lady, your dad thinks I can sing, so leave me alone and let me drown all my worries." Amanda said.

"Well, maybe you should get a job as a professional drunk singer instead." Carly suggested.

"Hey, I would, but your asshole of a father wouldn't let me work since we have all the fucking money of the world to retire in peace." Amanda replied.

"You're worse than Tracey when she broken three of your champagne glasses while singing a high note." Blake said, while placing a clipped on bow on the side of Ginger's hair.

Then the doorbell rang, as everyone turned their heads to look at the front foyer.

"What was that?" Amanda questioned.

"The doorbell, baby." Michael replied as he came out the kitchen area and MJ walked towards the kitchen table to eat his sandwich.

"We have a doorbell? Weren't Trevor, Carter, Ethan and Norah always walking in?" Amanda questioned as Michael walked towards the front foyer to answer it.

"Because, you never lock it, Mommy." Ginger said while getting up and heading towards the kitchen.

"We have locks!" Amanda exclaimed.

"Hello, Michael Townley, it's been so long." An elderly voice with an accent was heard.

"Who are you?" Michael questioned.

"I'm William Rose of Rose Electronics and I'm here for Blakeleigh." He introduced himself.

"Oh God!" Amanda exclaimed, as she fallen off the couch while breaking her wineglass. "Company!" She said, while fixing her hair and her red tank top.

"I didn't know that your grandfather was still alive." Tracey said to Blake as she looked at William from a distance.

"Yeah, me either. We thought he was dead." Carly stated.

"He doesn't cares about me, since I'm not a ginger." Blake replied.

"Whoa! For my daughter? Who are you exactly?" Michael questioned, as the elderly man with ginger red hair and green eyes walked into the front foyer of the house.

"I'm her grandfather on her mother's side. You might know my daughter, Marcelline Rose because somehow… How should I put this… 'You fucked her brains out for five days' and then she ended having a bebah which is my first grandbebah!" William explained, before looking around the front foyer's decor. "My God, all of this priceless valuables I see in here has somehow caught my attention. Is that lamp covered in blood splatter or that's just the design?" He questioned.

"I don't know, you should ask my wife, she's the one who decorated the place." Michael replied while walking towards the living room area to see everyone as especially Amanda now looking all sober up while standing up.

"And this must be the mistress." William said referring to Amanda as Blake and Carly laughed.

"No, I'm his wife, Amanda." She corrected.

"My God, Amanda Townley." William said shockingly. "Well, you look better for your age after having three bebahs." Then Amanda have him a pleasing smile, before she turned around and felt him pinching her butt, making her jump slightly.

"Hey! That's my wife and you fucking touching her?!" Michael shouted.

"Ah, relax Michael James. It's been so long since I've gotten attention from my Victoria, since she's dead for over fourteen years. So, please calm down." William explained, as Amanda walked back towards the couch and sat down.

"Where should I put my coat? Because Liberty City was chilly and I didn't know if San Andreas was going to be the same, due to the climate change." William explained, before looking at Carly and Tracey. "I'll just leave it with your two maids, who are in their lazy clothes." He said, dropping his black coat into Carly's lap and he pulled out two hundred dollars. "I want my coat clean and pressed before I leave, ya hear me you two?" He questioned while holding up the two hundred dollars.

"I'm not fucking maid, I'm Carly." She said.

"And I'm Tracey." The eldest De Santa kid said.

"Caroline and Tracey?!" He said shockingly. "Well, the last time I saw you two, you were short and Miss. Tracey you were a brunette. What happened?" He questioned.

"I'm going through a phase. And trauma stopped me from growing." Carly explained.

"I just wanted to be part of Los Santos by being famous, and not in this family." Tracey said.

"Michael, Amanda, you're letting a short girl and a faux blonde go wild in your house?" William questioned.

"We all have to go through a change, William." Michael explained.

"And Carly make a mean gin and tonic, it's her only saving grace." Amanda said.

"Well, alright then." William said, before turning around to face the girls. "Caroline, I would like to have a rum and cola on the rocks, and I definitely mean cubed ice not crushed." He said before turning towards Tracey. "And please arrange for my Mercedes Benz limousine driver to come pick me up here in Rockford Hills, since this is not… How should I put this… A ghetto or a 'hood'."

"Dad, tell him that I'm not the fucking maid and I'm not your fucking slave, Madam Godzilla." Carly said, once Tracey left.

"And this must the second man of the house, James Townley." William said, walking towards Jimmy. My God, you have real Ginger hair like me and your Auntie Marcelline."

"Uh thanks old man." Jimmy said.

"Here's some money, at least five hundred dollars." William said, giving Jimmy the money. "Buy something interesting with that money, maybe you do something about that weight of yours. You even heard of liposuction or Jenny Craig or Slim-Fast?" He said, before feeling someone from behind him, pushing him. "What the hell?" Then he turned around to see MJ with a big grin on his face.

"Tag! You're it!"

"MJ, stop running!" Ginger said, now finally in front of him.

"Come, play with me, mister." MJ said happily.

"What the hell is this?" William questioned towards Ginger and MJ.

"MJ, Ginny, come here." Michael said, as MJ climbed onto his lap and Ginger sat down next to him on his right side.

"Michael, please don't tell me that you had more bebahs with my youngest daughter!" William questioned.

"Of course not… but Ginny on the other hand-" Michael started to say, until Amanda cover his mouth with her hand.

"Bah! Ginny isn't mine, but my youngest MJ is." Amanda cut Michael off.

"MJ? Is that the young one's name? Not even a strong family name." William stated.

"His full name is Michael James De Santa Junior." Michael explained.

"You've name him after yourself?" William questioned.

"Yeah, me and Carly helped him out." Blake said.

"I wasn't talking to you, you blue haired Smurf." William said.

"That's Blake De Santa to you, Grandfather." She corrected, before William ignored his granddaughter.

"So, you've become a professional liar and a cheat to your lovely wife of twenty two years haven't you?" William stated, before looking at Ginger. "This child doesn't act like her mother at the moment, but she has the famous Rose ginger hair, and the eyes of her lying father. Just like Blakesleigh."

"Hey, wait a minute." Blake said.

"Hush, you!" William said.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Even though Blake and Ginny are my sisters, doesn't mean you have to be so fucking uptight about it, William." Carly explained with a hint of anger.

"That's Grandfather William to you, Caroline Jadelynn." William corrected.

"I prefer go-fuck-yourself." Carly suggested.

"Look, even though Michael cheated on me seven times with your daughter, I did the same with his trusted friend Carter." Amanda said, before drinking more of her wine glass.

"You've cheated on your lying husband with Carter Josiah? He's still alive and not dead?" William questioned.

"You didn't know about it, Grandpa William?" Tracey questioned, since she came back into the living room area watch more of the drama.

"Yeah, Mom like got revenge sex on Pop for cheating on Aunt Macey for so long." Jimmy explained.

"I recorded the whole fight against the two dads on my iFruit phone and put it up on YouTube." Blake said, having her iFruit phone before looking at the video's comments and views. "Over five hundred comments and ten million views, within the week and it was definitely on Weazel News the next day."

"This is great. Believe me, Michael you are better off without my whorish daughter and Amanda we should propose a toast." William said, before looking at Carly. "Maid, two glasses of Grey Goose Vodka. S'il vous plaît."

"Okay, one. Still not the fucking maid. And two. Yep, Dad and Uncle Carter did fight against each other, but I wouldn't say that he's not out of our lives." Carly explained.

"What do you mean by that, purple?" William questioned, before the doors open and closed as Carter Missildine walked into the De Santa's living room area.

"Mike, have you see Charlie's panda bear plushie? Cause, she's been cranky while trying to take her- OH SHIT!" Carter started to say, before he looked up to see William Rose for the first time after so long.

"Hello, Carter Josiah Grant." William greeted casually.

"Oh fuck, okay Violet, Gingerbread, Ladybug, don't panic. Back away from him, he spreads bad luck." Carter said, before picking up Ginger while holding her up and then Carly and Blake stood up and back away from William.

"Nothing has changed." William said, as MJ climbed out of Michael's lap and then climbed onto William's lap.

"Alright, Trace, Jim upstairs to your rooms. Just go. Go!" Carter suggested.

"Me and your dear friend we're just talking about how did my youngest daughter Marceline managed to have another bebah with Michael James Townley. And the fact how did he and Amanda managed to stay together after so long, while having another bebah named Michael Junior." William said, as MJ was still on his lap while playing on his kiddie tablet.

"Aw hell, MJ!" Carter exclaimed while looking at MJ who was preoccupy on his kiddie tablet. "My second godchild! He's too close. I can't reach him."

"I'm surprised that you manage to have this new life here in this horrid and hot town, when the fact you couldn't keep my youngest daughter control and let her go crazy around your oldest friend to make her have bebahs out of wedlock and child support." William explained.

"Michael Junior! Uncle Carter, so sorry, buddy! My godchild is going to be cursed forever!" Carter exclaimed after putting Ginger down next to Carly, Blake and the eldest siblings.

"Oh for God sakes!" William exclaimed, before holding MJ up in the air. "Here, take your godson." He said, before throwing MJ.

"I got him!" Carter shouted, before MJ hit the floor crying her eyes out and the youngest De Santa child ran towards his father. "I don't got him."

"Hey, asshole, you can't just throw my kids around." Michael said with anger.

"Yes, you can." Amanda replied. "I used to throw our ungrateful daughter and that Smurf colored hair girl around when they were babies. And they turned out fine… Unfortunately not."

Then the front doors of the De Santa house open and close as Norah came in with Charlie in her left arm, before walking into the living room to join the others.

"Carter, did you find it?" Norah questioned, before noticing the ginger haired grandfather. "Oh, hello."

"Finally, the maid is here." William said, before looking at Norah. "And she brought her bebah to work, I see. I'll have a dry martini, two olives-"

"She's not the fucking maid, old bastard." Carly corrected.

"Oh, then who is she?" William questioned.

"Norah." Blake replied.

"No, who is she?" William questioned.

"Uncle Carter's wife." Tracey replied.

"No! What is she?" William questioned once more.

"What? A blonde?" Carly questioned William.

"A blonde? That is simply preposterous." William said.

"Well, it's nice to meet you sir." Norah said unsurely, before placing Charlie into Carly's arms. "Have fun with your godmother, baby girl." She said, before the baby clapped her hands.

"I've miss you too, Charlie." Carly said, before sitting down.

"Well, I've never seen a real blonde up close." William said, while getting up and walked towards Norah. "Are you from Liberty City?"

"Yes, I am." Norah replied.

"And is this hair of yours. Is this really your real hair color or you're just like Tracey when she was a brunette?" William questioned, before Carter wrapped his arm around Norah's waist until Michael walked towards the ginger haired grandfather.

"Listen, even though we've never seen you in a long time and I don't know how you tracked us down. But I think you should leave now, cause you been here is making my wife drunker than ever." Michael suggested before everyone saw Amanda now drinking a whole wine bottle, while holding the bottle by it's neck.

"I'll be up in a minute!" Amanda slurred.

"Well, your wife is just like me when I hit midlife crisis with my Victoria." William said.

"Forgive me, what did you say?" Michael questioned.

"It seems that you've already hit midlife crisis, since you've been drinking hundred dollars worth of whiskey and also gain a beer belly. Ever heard of Slim-Fast. They got them in all three flavors." William replied. "Beside, you called yourself a father without giving your children and your youngest bebahs proper punishments."

"Oh, I've already hit that stage and I went through it, cause my wife didn't like this side of me. And now you're saying that I'm not able to raise my kids here in Los Santos correctly." Michael explained. "Even though my kids are different from each other and dysfunctional, I still love them even though I didn't do much for them back in Ludendorff. They're okay, just the way they are."

"Yeah, we love Daddy, Grandfather William." Blake said. "Ever since me and Gingerbread made it all the way out here, we've managed to have a better life than Ludendorff. We didn't want to go to Liberty City with you and run the company after knowing what happened to Packie's brother and sister."

"I'm glad that Blakey is here. I never knew nothing about Ginny, until they arrive saying that Dad cheated on Madam Godzilla with Macey." Carly explained, before side hugging her half sister. "And Ginny and I have bonded over time, just like me and Blake gained a sister relationship when we were little and napping in the same crib."

"I even love the sun and school out here than Ludendorff." Ginger said. "Sometimes, I keep hearing noises from Daddy and Mommy's room, but I'm not allowed to tell that to anyone especially Carly."

"What did you say?" Carly questioned, before looking at Michael.

"Hey, your mother wanted me." Michael said in self defense.

"Why the fuck would you have sex with her, Dad?!" Carly questioned. "You and her are on the edge of a divorce, now you're fucking her brains out again?!"

"Listen, I'll explain later." Michael said.

"It looks like my presence is no longer wanted here anymore, Michael James." William suggested.

"Oh well done, how magnanimous of you. You and Carter can have our applause." Michael said while clapping his hands slowly along with Carter.

"There's no need for mockery, Michael James Townley!" William said.

"Well there was no need for you to put your dirty, fuckin' hands on my wife's ass. I pay for all her surgery and spoil her to death, and now an old man like you touch my wife of over 20 years?!" Michael explained. "And besides I'm getting fucking tired of you calling me by my full name, when that person died after the fucking bank job."

"Fine that is it! Unless the FIB records stated that I left on my own time instead of you kicking me out. I don't have to take it here anymore." William said, before walking away.

"Well, fine I was better as a liar, and I wish you've never come back to get my kids again, just like your fucking daughter!" Michael shouted.

"And I'm taking some of your priceless junk and this open bottle of bourbon whiskey, since I ran out of gin in my limousine." William said, now holding Michael's opened whisky bottle before grabbing some of the valuables in the foyer and he was finally at the front door. "And remember this, even though you've fucked my daughter's brains out, it doesn't mean that you're not part of my family or the company." He stated, before opening the front doors and Michael walked towards them as the ginger haired grandfather left out of the house.

"Yeah, you fuckin' eighty year old bastard. Why don't you take my good whiskey, and go fuck yourself until you have a heart attack in the back of that limousine!" Michael shouted angrily, before slamming the frosted glass doors.

Silence went off like an atomic bomb in the De Santa's front foyer, except hearing the concern babbling noises coming from Charlie as Carly placed her back into Norah's arms. Then the kids walked towards Michael who was still facing away from them.

"Pop, you alright?" Jimmy questioned.

"I'm alright, Jim." Michael replied.

"Daddy…" Ginger called out his name, while tugging onto Michael's black suit jacket. "You wanna hug?"

Then Michael turn around to see all six of his kids, even the affair ones who looked at their father. MJ climbed out of Carter's arms, before hugging Michael's legs.

"Love you, Daddy." MJ said, which left a smile on Michael's face and he lifted up his youngest son, before Ginger, Blake and Carly join in which left Tracey and Jimmy.

"Hey, I'm not gay, so… what the hell." Jimmy said, before walking towards the group and patted Michael's back.

"Whatever." Tracey sighed, before joining the group.

"I love my fucked up family." Amanda slurred before joining into the group hug where Blake and Carly was hugging their father.

"Not you, Bitchmanda." Carly said, pushing Amanda off her and onto the floor.

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 **Well that was my first humorous one shot of Grand Theft Auto! I hope everyone enjoy it, since it did take me a couple of days to work on it besides working on my original story Sweet and Deadly.**

 **And to let you know this is not Michael's real father, but William does act like a rich asshole. He even sounded like his dad, pissing off Michael like that. I even use William Rose in xXBalorBabeXx's story, Unexpected.**


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